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Notice the Deal-Breakers

boundaries mindset negative emotions negative thoughts parenting Aug 20, 2022
Stressed woman holding her forehead, wearing a blue shirt by Pexels of Pixabay
Sometimes its hard to sit down and think about boundaries, and how you would get started in crafting some. It’s not a normal thing that most of us have experience with. And that’s ok.
But you know what is a good place to start? Noticing when something or someone has crossed the line.
Those times when you are so annoyed by someone who did that thing again. Or when this happens every time!
When you notice recurrent moments that drive you crazy, rather than get upset, make a note of it. And later, when you aren’t feeling frustrated, annoyed, pissed, etc, sit and think about what happens in that scenario. What is someone else doing (or not doing), and what are your thoughts that start running through your mind (“why didn’t you put your homework in your backpack when you finished it?” “we can’t be late to school!” “Don’t these kids know that I have an important meeting this morning?!?”). Once you get clear on these details, we can often more clearly see how we can prevent it from happening ALL THE TIME.
Imagine for your school-aged kids that you set a clear expectation of a hard cut-off for out-the-door time every morning at 7:45 for example. And that means shoes on, homework in backpack, out-the-door. They may need some coaching around getting everything into their backpack the night before, of getting dressed when they wake up instead of after breakfast. They may need to fail a few times (or a lot of time!). But you can stay clear on the fact that everyone leaves at 7:45, regardless of their readiness.
When we take the time to notice the recurrent problems in our lives, to think about them when we are calm and not in “the heat of the moment,” we bring our best problem-solving skills to the table. And, of course, by being clear with others, we set boundaries that they can benefit from; kids who understand the important of getting to school on time, with the right stuff in their backpacks (lunch, water bottle, homework, etc), and the benefits of the 5 Ps (Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance).
It takes some doing to commit to this, but the payoff, in terms of less stress, frustration and yelling on your part, and more accountability on the part of the other players, is worth it.
Try it, and then rinse and repeat. In no time, you will be a Boundaries Machine, experiencing less frustration and helping others in the meantime.

Hi There!

I'm Megan. I'm a Physician and a Life Coach and a Mom. I created this blog to help other Physicians and Physician-Moms learn more about why they feel exhausted, burned-out and overwhelmed, and how to start to make changes. I hope that you enjoy what you read, and that it helps you along your journey. And hey, if you want to talk about coaching with me, I'm here for that too! I offer a free 1:1 call to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to register today.

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