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Why Can't I Stick to my ________ Plan???

negative behaviors negative emotions negative thoughts self-care self-compassion wellness Dec 18, 2021
Woman doing Yoga on the Beach by Renata Hille of Pixabay
You work hard. You’ve done hard things. You’ve learned anatomy, physiology, pathopharmacology, and way too much about renal tubules. You’ve stayed awake, working for 30 (or more) hours, learned to “hold it” indefinitely, and maybe even performed surgery while pregnant with twins.
You do hard things.
And yet.
Why the hell can’t you stick to your ______ plan?
Many of us Physicians have confidence that we can do hard things, and we can point to proof of hard things we have done before. And then we struggle with sticking to an exercise plan, or an eating plan, or a “get my charts done” plan. We try, we fail, we probably beat ourselves up for failing, and get even harder or meaner with ourselves, thinking that this will work.
How miserable is this?
You are trying to make changes, usually “for your own good,” and you can’t, and then you get mean on yourself. And then you give up. Or you keep going, but you’re irritable, and everything feels too hard, and no one understands.
This doesn’t work.
If it did, you wouldn’t be reading this, or anything else on my website. We are sooo good at beating ourselves up to get things done, usually in service of our careers, our families, partners, etc.
But it doesn’t work to help you make change. Because negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which don’t lead to you taking the steps you need for the outcomes you want. Raise your hand with me if this has been you too.
Time for a new approach
Here’s a new way:
What do you need to do to get the results you want, what are the actual things to do and not do?
How do you need to feel (1 emotion word here) in order to take those action steps?
And what do you need to start thinking to have the feeling?
This is the basic idea behind The Model, the powerful coaching tool used in The Life Coach School, developed by Brooke Castillo. It’s based on other work, including “The Work” by Byron Katie, and other great thinkers. Our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings create our actions, and our actions create our results.
If I want to have the result of “exercising for 30 minutes, 5 days per week,” I need to find the actions to make that happen: identifying a time, putting time on the calendar, preparing exercise clothes, telling myself that “it’s a commitment to myself and that I follow through unless someone is bleeding.” To take those actions, I need to have the feeling of determined.To feel determined, I choose to start thinking the thought, “I feel so much more relaxed when I exercise regularly.” You get the idea.
Simple is good; simple works
This is the work I do with clients, taking you through steps to create and stick with a plan. When you start doing this in your life, you start building accountability to yourself, trust in yourself, and a better life. When we look at work stuff this way, we figure out where your toxic thoughts lie, and what beliefs are holding you back, and work through them. When we tackle life stuff this way, you start taking better care of yourself, on purpose.
If you are stuck, trying to take actions and not yet succeeding, set up a zoom call with me. I help people get unstuck and get results in their live that they love. No garbage, no Pollyanna-crap, no more beating yourself up.
You’ll love how it feels when you start showing up for yourself.

Hi There!

I'm Megan. I'm a Physician and a Life Coach and a Mom. I created this blog to help other Physicians and Physician-Moms learn more about why they feel exhausted, burned-out and overwhelmed, and how to start to make changes. I hope that you enjoy what you read, and that it helps you along your journey. And hey, if you want to talk about coaching with me, I'm here for that too! I offer a free 1:1 call to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to register today.

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