The "What If" Game That Changes Everything for Overwhelmed Physicians

When was the last time someone asked about you—not the doctor version of you, but you?

As physicians, we're questioned constantly. About diagnoses, treatment plans, documentation, metrics, patient satisfaction. We're expected to have answers, to be certain, to know.

But here's what no one's asking: What do you want? What lights you up? What would you choose if you weren't carrying the weight of everyone else's expectations?

I realized recently that I'd become so practiced at not asking myself these questions that when someone finally did ask what I really wanted, I couldn't answer.

The wake-up call

This hit home hard recently when I attended the celebration of life for a neighbor who died suddenly and far too young. Her wife, a physician, stood up and talked about cardiovascular disease, about taking care of ourselves, about not waiting until it's too late.

It was an unusual message for a funeral, but entirely fitting.

Because here's what we don't talk about enough: We're spending our lives serving everyone else while slowly depleting ourselves. We tell ourselves it's noble, necessary, what we signed up for.

But what if it's actually unsustainable? What if there's another way?

Enter: The "What If" Game

In my latest podcast episode, I walk through seven powerful questions designed to crack open possibilities you've been trained to ignore. These aren't comfortable questions. They're not meant to be.

They're meant to wake you up to the choices you're making—and the choices you could make instead.

Here are the seven questions:

1. What if I didn't need to make any money?
2. What if I couldn't fail?
3. What if I chose to love myself more?
4. What if I knew when I was going to die?
5. What if I believed their actions?
6. What if only my desires mattered?
7. What if I chose to keep it easy?

Why these questions matter

Let's take just one: What if you chose to love yourself more?

Not in a self-indulgent way. But with the same unconditional care you give your loved ones, your patients, even your plants.

If you loved yourself that way, would you continue running on empty? Would you keep ignoring the signs of burnout? Would you accept working conditions that make you physically ill?

Or would you make different choices?

You're not being asked to become an egomaniac. You're being invited to stop treating yourself as the least important person in your life.

The one about death (stay with me)

Another powerful question: What if you knew when you were going to die?

If you knew your time was limited, would you spend this much of it perfecting documentation? Trying to make administrators happy who clearly don't value you? Working nights and weekends to keep up with an impossible system?

Or would you choose differently?

The neighbor we lost didn't know her time was short. None of us do. And yet we live as if we have unlimited time to get to the things that actually matter.

What if you're not the only solution?

Here's one that stops physicians in their tracks: What if only my desires mattered?

I hear this constantly from doctors considering making a change: "But what will happen to my patients?"

There's an uncomfortable ego truth wrapped up in that question. We've been told—and our patients have told us—that we're the only ones who get them, who listen, who can help.

But you are not the only solution for your patients. You're excellent, yes. You're a great connector and problem-solver and caregiver, absolutely.

But believing you're the only option? That's not noble. It's a trap that keeps you stuck in situations that are slowly destroying you.

The invitation

I'm not suggesting you have all the answers to these questions right now. I'm inviting you to sit with them. To let yourself actually consider the possibilities instead of immediately shutting them down.

Because here's what I know:

You are more powerful than you realize. You have more choices than you think. And the life you're living right now? It doesn't have to be the only option.

But it starts with asking yourself the questions no one else is asking.

Ready to explore these questions?

🎧 Listen to the full episode where I walk you through each question

📅 Schedule a 1:1 coaching call to explore what comes up for you

Because you deserve to ask—and answer—questions about what you actually want.

Dr. Megan Melo is a physician coach dedicated to helping women physicians end overwhelm and reclaim their lives. Through her podcast "Ending Physician Overwhelm" and one-on-one coaching, she helps doctors rediscover what's possible when they stop putting themselves last.