Breaking the Rules That Keep Women Physicians Overwhelmed

Are your internalized rules leading you straight to burnout? It might be time to break them.

Ever catch yourself thinking, "I can't possibly leave work until I've answered every message" or "I must be available for everyone else before taking care of myself"?

These aren't random thoughts. They're rules, internalized commandments that govern how we move through our lives and careers. And for women physicians, these rules often become the very chains that bind us to overwhelm and burnout.

The Rules We Never Question

This morning, I found myself hesitating to wear shorter pants because I hadn't shaved my legs. While seemingly trivial, this moment illuminated something profound: how many other arbitrary rules am I following without question?

As women physicians, we excel at creating and internalizing rules. It's practically built into our training:

• Must complete all tasks before taking a break
• Must put patients first, self last
• Must be infallible
• Must sacrifice personal time for professional demands

Sound familiar? These aren't just harmless guidelines, they're the building blocks of burnout.

The Dangerous Patient-First Mentality

"The patient comes first" is a well-intentioned principle. But when internalized as "I always come last," it becomes dangerous.

Think about it: In what universe does it make sense for the person providing critical care to be chronically sleep-deprived, dehydrated, or emotionally depleted? Yet we normalize this daily, wearing our exhaustion as a badge of honor.

A physician working a Q2 call schedule isn't just suffering personally—they're positioned to provide suboptimal care. The system knows this, yet continues to push these unsustainable demands, banking on our internalized rule that we can't possibly say no.

Breaking Free: A Three-Step Process

If you're ready to examine the rules keeping you stuck, here's where to start:

1. Identify Your Rules

Listen for command language in your thoughts: "I can't," "I must," "I should." These signal the presence of a rule. Write them down—all of them.

2. Question Who the Rule Serves

Does this rule primarily benefit you, or is it serving others (or systems) at your expense? Be brutally honest here.

3. Envision Life Without the Rule

Who would you be without this constraint? How would your practice, health, and relationships change if you let this rule go?

What Freedom Looks Like

Imagine a version of your medical practice where:

• You take bathroom breaks without guilt
• You eat lunch sitting down
• You set boundaries around your time and energy
• You recognize that sustainable practice requires sustainable self-care

This isn't fantasy; it's what becomes possible when you break the rules that no longer serve you.

The Power of Coaching

Sometimes we need support to identify and challenge the rules we've been following for so long. Having a physician coach who understands the unique pressures you face can create the safety needed to examine these ingrained patterns.

Coaching isn't about finding magical efficiency hacks—it's about asking fundamental questions: Who am I? How do I want to be? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to start believing instead?

Your Next Steps

Listen to the full episode: Dive deeper into this topic on Episode 176 of the Ending Physician Overwhelm podcast, where I walk through exactly how to identify and break free from limiting rules.

Schedule a 1:1 call: Ready to examine your own rules with support? Book a coaching discovery call and let's talk about what's possible when you break free from what's holding you back.

Join my email community: Each week, I send high-yield messages of hope specifically for women physicians. Subscribe here to get these directly in your inbox.

Remember: You didn't make it through medical training by being anything less than exceptional. The same strength, intelligence, and determination that got you here can help you create a sustainable practice that honors both your patients and yourself.

It's time to break the rules that are breaking you.