10 Ways to Deal In Tough Times: A Physician's Real-Time Guide to Crisis Management

Sometimes the most powerful lessons come from the moments we least want to be teaching them

I'm writing this while sitting in my car on a Monday morning, having just recorded what might be one of the most vulnerable podcast episodes I've ever shared. My family is navigating what I'm calling a "semi-urgent medical crisis" with one of my children, and everything feels simultaneously urgent and suspended in time.

You know this feeling if you've ever waited for biopsy results, sat in fertility clinic waiting rooms, or watched a loved one face a health scare. It's not a code blue emergency, but it's the kind of crisis that rearranges your entire world while you wait for answers, appointments, and next steps.

We physicians are trained to be the calm voice in these moments - for our patients, for their families, for everyone around us. But what happens when we're the ones on the other side of the stethoscope?

The Reality of Being Human First, Doctor Second

After years of being the one delivering difficult news and coordinating care during crises, I'm relearning what it means to be the family member sitting in the waiting room. It's humbling, terrifying, and oddly clarifying all at once.

Here's what I'm discovering works when your professional composure meets personal crisis:

1. Notice Yourself and Your Needs

This seems obvious, but it's the first thing we abandon. Even when the crisis isn't happening TO you, you're still a crucial part of the equation. I have to constantly ask myself: What do I need right now to show up for what matters most?

This isn't selfish - it's strategic. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you can't support others if you're running on fumes.

2. Continue Your Routines with Self-Compassion

The basics matter more during crisis, not less. I'm still trying to exercise, eat regularly, and protect my sleep. These routines might look different right now - shorter workouts, simpler meals, earlier bedtimes - but they're my anchor.

Don't abandon what keeps you grounded when you need grounding the most.

3. Let People Know What You Need

Here's the hardest truth I'm learning: I am less reliable and dependable to everyone else right now, and that has to be okay.

I'm canceling social plans. Rescheduling patients. Making choices that prioritize my family over other commitments. Being upfront about this isn't failure - it's honest communication about where my energy needs to go.

4. Accept What's True AND Allow Moments of Good

You can simultaneously acknowledge that this is incredibly difficult while also letting in moments of joy, laughter, and connection when they appear. This isn't toxic positivity - it's refusing to shut yourself off from the full range of human experience.

Crisis doesn't mean you forfeit your right to moments of lightness.

5. Practice Creative Procrastination

Those big projects, ambitious goals, and exciting plans you've been working toward? It's okay to put them on hold. This isn't giving up - it's being strategic about your focus.

Future dreams can wait when your family needs you now.

6. Get Crystal Clear on Your Values

We all say family is our top priority, but crisis has a way of revealing whether we're actually living that way. When push comes to shove, are you willing to inconvenience others to show up for what matters most?

Use this clarity to make decisions moment by moment, even when it's uncomfortable.

7. Know Who's on Your Team

Some people in your life are equipped to handle your vulnerable moments with grace and support. Others, despite being wonderful people, are not built for crisis mode.

This is boundaries work in real time. Choose wisely who gets access to your tender places during tough times.

8. Prepare for Growth

Nobody chooses the lessons that come with family medical crises. But if you're here anyway, there might be opportunities to develop resilience, deepen relationships, or discover strengths you didn't know you had.

You don't have to be grateful for the crisis to acknowledge your capacity to grow through it.

9. Choose Love

When you don't know what decision to make, when you're facing tough conversations or difficult days ahead, let love be your North Star.

Love for yourself. Love for the people you're caring for. Love for everyone who matters to you.

When everything else feels uncertain, love is always the right choice.

10. Trust Yourself

This is the big one: You have successfully navigated every crisis that has come before this moment.

Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not without scars or regrets. But you're still here. You're still standing. You're still capable of taking one step at a time, even when you can't see the whole path ahead.

What This Means for Your Life

If you're facing your own tough times right now, here's what I want you to remember:

• You're allowed to be less available to others when your people need you most
• Your self-care isn't selfish during crisis - it's essential
• You don't need to have it all figured out to take the next right step
• Some people won't understand your choices, and that's not your problem to solve

The Permission You Didn't Know You Needed

As physicians, we're conditioned to be endlessly available, perpetually reliable, constantly "on." But life doesn't follow hospital protocols. Sometimes being the best doctor means being the best human first.

You have permission to prioritize your family's crisis over non-urgent professional obligations.

You have permission to say no to requests that would normally be automatic yeses.

You have permission to be human, vulnerable, and imperfect while still being an excellent physician.

Moving Forward

I don't know what the next few weeks hold for my family, but I know this: we'll figure it out one step at a time, leaning on these principles and the people who truly have our backs.

Because that's what we do as physicians, as humans, as people who refuse to let crisis break us - we face the hard stuff and find ways to keep moving forward.

Are you navigating your own tough times? Listen to Episode 180 of Ending Physician Overwhelm for the full conversation about these 10 strategies, recorded in real-time from someone in the thick of it.

Ready for support as you navigate life's challenges? Join my email list for weekly messages of hope and practical wisdom, or explore how coaching can help you build resilience for whatever comes next.

What's helping you get through your current challenges? The strategies that work in crisis often become the foundations for thriving in calmer times.